I love finding obscure Bible stories the kids never hear in Sunday School. Here's a nice little tale about one of the Bible-God's favorite people, Noah.Apparently, after the whole ark thing was over, Noah planted a vineyard so he could get drunk whenever he wanted. One day, he got so drunk he fell asleep naked in his tent. When his son, Ham, wandered in and saw Noah's "nakedness", Noah got pissed off. Genesis 9:24 says, "And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him." I'm not sure what Ham did, but it sounds like Noah was mad because Ham didn't cover his eyes.
So in retaliation Noah cursed Ham's son, Canaan, to be "a servant of servants." In fact, Canaan (Noah's grandson) would become a servant to Noah's other son, Shem, because of what his father did (or didn't do).
It's very complicated and it really makes you wonder what the fuck kind of message the author of this story was trying to convey. Is there a moral here? Don't look at your father's dick or your kids will be made into slaves? Is that it? Great lesson! I'm sure glad God Almighty, the creator of the universe got that one out to us!
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7 comments:
I remember this from Bible Studies for Atheists: the traditional interpretation (which, strangely, doesn't get much press) is that Ham did The Thing with his old pop. - http://bs4a.blogspot.com/2006/12/genesis-9.html
I thought we weren't supposed to interpret, but rather to accept literally. This is so confusing.
Maybe God was worried His creatures would discover they were all hermaphrodites, what with all the inbreeding and everything.
Most likely, it was punishment for disrespecting his father going and gossiping about it to his brothers instead of covering him up.
But I agree, the author should have explained it better.
While the comic is somewhat funny, your comments after it are completely illogical. First, this is not "Aesop's fables." This is a book giving an account of real events. There might not be a clear "and the moral of the story is." Second, that being said, a Christian would just respond "Even the best men, like Noah, are corrupt, but God uses it all to fulfill his plan."
You haven't convinced me that you even know what you're talking about.
Real events? Really? Do you actually believe the "Noah's Ark" story was a real event? And you call me illogical?
You believe that God killed every living thing on the planet except one family and two of each animal, then started all over again?
There are so many logic problems with this. How did Noah and family repopulate the earth? How did they create different races? How did they travel across the oceans to other continents?
Do you know how many species of animals there are on the earth? There are hundreds of thousands, at least. How did he fit them in the ark? How did he catch them? What did they eat? Why didn't they eat each other?
Face it, this is a story with a moral and here it is: If you're bad and don't follow God's rules, you'll feel his wrath. If you're good, you will be spared. That's it. It's that simple.
Now, do you know what you're talking about?
Hey, you're one of the Bible-God's favorite people, too, ya know.
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